thebitterguy

So a couple weekends ago, atomiks came by and we put our bikes on the road. Now, I'd had an issue with the rear tire needing trueing, and it hadn't been ridden in a while, so we went by the new location of one of the local bike shops that had moved into the pervious location of one of the local tattoo parlours.

They took a look at the bike and said to bring it by later. So we decided to go for a little bike ride.

I'm gonna tell you another story first. Back when I was in Humber, I tended to hang around the computer lab a lot (shocking, since I was in the computer program, right?). There was another student there, also older than the rest of the body, from Newfoundland who was taking a mechanical program. I will call him Jimmy, since Liam is taken.

One night, Jimmy was working on his resume, and needed some help with making it pretty. Since I had some background with layout and WP software, I helped him get it into a nice format. Thanks, he said, I'll get you a beer sometime.

Ah, I thought, isn't that nice.

So. End of night. I think I'm pretty much done my project for the night, and he's done surfing porn (no, really. The lab monitors used to surf porn in this place. It was a strange environment). The lab's shut down, and Jimmy puts a hand on my shoulder and asks if I'm ready for that beer yet.

Sure, I figure, we'll go down to the pub and grab a pint.

If this were a movie, strings would be playing right now. Perhaps a drum beat.

We go down. I notice it's buck a beer night (being wednesday), so I figure "ah, great, it'll just be a buck." I grab a table and he goes off to get the drinks.

The pluralized 's', btw, is a a treacherous mistress. Jimmy comes to the table with a tray of beers. I look around the table. Only two of us. There's more than that on the table.

Sure, I figure, I'll have a few pints with him and then we'll head out. Second tray comes. Second tray is drank. I'm pretty sure I wasn't pacing him, but he didn't lap me. I don't recall if there were more beer, but I can assume for the sake of entertainment there may have been. I don't think we had much in the way of snack food, either.

It is one of the two instances in my life where I drank myself insensate. Seriously. This and Jeff's party back in University. Even my stag party, where I had a few, had at least the dampening effect of lots of nachos and wings and other grease/protein/carbohydrate based foodstuffs. I don't know if that's science or a placebo effect, but it helped. Here? No such assistance.

At the end of the night, I think he put me in a box and left me at the front door of my dorm room.

I also remember getting the stinkeye from this one rez-mate who was this very butch cop's daughter who I spent that semester in a mutual hate-off. I remember her saying something to me. Something. But the words are gone, just the sight of this harpy-ish face flapping its gums at me noiselessly. Something like the last thing a mouse sees when something serpentish rises up in front of them. I think it happened when I carried a trash can past her room on the way to the washroom to see the blessings of the porcelain god. Flap, flap, flap went her lips. She really loved Michael Jordan.

Now, the other guy, I have no idea how he managed it, but the alcohol seemed to roll off his bloodstream.

I told you that story so I can tell you the rest of this one.

As Jimmy left my brain swimming in a pool of liquor, atomiks left my muscles doused in lactic acid. He'd plotted out a path that seemed, to him, to be a short trip. Down Derry, up Guelph Line, over Side Road 5, and down 25 to Steeles.

This, perhaps, would be a nice little jaunt for a guy who was in shape and a good bicylclist. For YHB? Bataan Death Bike. The other thingy is that the escarpment is a very hilly piece of terrain. Very hilly. Up the hill, down the hill, back up the hill. A couple times he had me peddle while he pushed me. The distance turned out to be something I can't recall, but it was long.
For an out of shape guy. Hell, even atomiks cabled calves were a wee bit sore at the end of the trip. I think it was thirty some kilometres.

I'd dressed for warmth, but as the trip entered its third hour, the sun was dropping and it was starting to get a bit chilly. Thankfullly, every muscle in my body was in overdrive, so the cold didn't bother me so much.

At the end, though, it was an accomplishment. I'd managed to make the trip around this square of hate mostly on my own, with only a couple stops. We saw a lot of territory. At no point did turkey vultures circle, sensing my impending death. So, yeah, good day. Whee!

Of course, I dropped the bike off at the shop last week and still haven't gotten it back yet. Feh.