thebitterguy

Today, on McSweeneys:

EXCERPTS FROM
THE COLLECTED
ANSWERING-MACHINE
MESSAGES OF LYRICIST
TIM RICE.

I know that technically you're dead to me, but just for old times' sake I wanted to let you in on what I'm certain will be the most successful show that any human being has ever conceived—though, actually, I'm not really a human being: I'm made out of star stuff and the moon and am also God. So.
(In the background, there's the sound of a gunshot, followed by what sound like the screams of Mandy Patinkin.)

It has also helped me decide what I want to get the wife as an anniversary present.

So, yes. Tonight, I accomplished one of my lifetime goals. I got to see The Frantics perform live.

Okay, so it's not 'getting the Beatles back together (that would require some heavy fuckin' duty Necromancy at this point)', but it was fuckin' hilarious. From the opening, which climaxed with Rick Green waving a transparent pink dildo in the air, through a series of hilarious sketches, including at least a couple I recognized (Bill from Bala! Updated! The Piece of Pie sketch!), I was pissing myself with glee.

The best was the one about the reunited teen mystery solving brigade. Let's Go!

I love those guys. Is Four on the Floor ON tv anywhere these days?